Apurva Bajpai

एक लड़की

2010-12-29T01:32:00.000-08:00

तुम चाँद के उजले हिस्से सी
कुछ दूर कुछ पास हो
दूर क्षितिज पे ढलते सूरज सी
कुछ पीली कुछ लाल हो
झरने के निनाद सी
कुछ अल्हड़ कुछ संजीदा हो
खुद अपनी हंसी सी
कुछ प्रत्यक्ष कुछ पोशीदा हो
भीगे बदन पे लगती धूप सी
कुछ ठंडी कुछ गर्म हो
सर्दी में अलाव की आग सी
कुछ कठोर कुछ नर्म हो
इस समय की स्नेहिल यादें संजोये
हर लम्हा एक नया एहसास हो

यूँ होता तो कैसा होता

2010-07-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

आज शाम भी अकेला हूँ
एक नया रास्ता देखा था कल रात
सोचता हूँ देख आऊं उस पार क्या है
शायद कोई परछाई जानी पहचानी मिल जाये
चेहरे तो सभी अनजाने हैं

पिछले साल या शायद उससे भी पहले
तुम्हारी याद तो आती थी
पर अब हर शाम नम तो है मगर
एक तीस के अलावा कुछ नहीं

तुम्हे पहचान तो लूँगा
चेहरे क्या बहुत बदलते हैं ?
लेकिन उन झुर्रियों के पीछे वो हंसी
मुमकिन है पहले जैसी न हो

यूँ होता तो कैसा होता
मै कहता और तुम सुनती
कुछ पल तो साथ चलते
और उम्र गुज़र जाती

2010-07-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

आज तुमसे कह देता हूँ

हाँ एक अरसे से कहना ही तो चाहता हूँ

की तमाम कोशिशों के बाद भी तुम्हे अजनबी नहीं बना पाया हूँ मैं

जैसे ज़िन्दगी का वो पन्ना जिसे फाड़ने पर पूरी किताब बेमानी हो जाती है

की अनजाने में तुमने जो दस्तक दी है उसे हर लम्हा सुन सकता हूँ मैं

जैसे तुम्हारा वजूद रहता है मेरे साथ, साँस बनकर

की इस चिलचिलाती धूप में तुम्हारा चेहरा ऐसा लगता है

जैसे माहताब में उमड़ती हुई लहरें

की इस अजनबी से शोर में तुम्हारे शब्द ऐसे लगते हैं

जैसे अलसाई सी सुबह की अंगड़ाई

की इस खाली से बिस्तर पे तुम्हारा जिस्म ऐसा लगता है

जैसे जनवरी की धूप की तपिश

की इस बेमानी सी ज़िन्दगी में तुम्हारा होना ऐसा लगता है

जैसे एक मुकाम जिसे मैं कबसे ढूँढ रहा था

आज तुमसे कह देता हूँ

हाँ एक अरसे से कहना ही तो चाहता हूँ

पर जब शब्द मिलते हैं तो तुम नहीं होती

और जब तुम होती हो तो धुंध की चादर सी सफ़ेद अनछुई

डरता हूँ तुम्हे मैला न कर दूँ

Savita Vs the State of Bharat

2009-07-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

I could have made it a case against "The state of india" but keeping with the tradition set by Voice of India/Bharat, "Times of India", I had to name it state of Bharat. According to TOI, somehow, all the things that are progressive and worthy of emulation on the merit of modernity are quintessentially Indian, and all the things that lag behind (on account of being obsolete,on account of being a necessary evil aka tradition or on account of being simply poor) are bharat. That's why we had a poor girl from some town in rural Bharat crying, and her tears being wiped by a hand-ker-chief from the industrial India on the Budget edition. It seems for TOI a new synonym for underprivileged is Bharat. Never fancy a "Times of Bharat".....

Inspite of being an active member of the net community and regularly looking for spicy material to liven my otherwise boring daily routine, I could not get to know of "Savita Bhabhi" until recently, when to many's horror, Savita Bhabhi was banned from Indian Cyber Space. Too late for me to sex it up a little through cartoon porn, no no, Indian cartoon porn. I could get hold of a couple of articles on the net which ridiculed the government for banning the "Bhabhi" for a plethora of reasons. I agree with some, not so much with the others. One article justly says that the government has no right to play the "Net Nanny", and its upto the parents to take care of what their children with impressionable minds watch on the net. Adding to that the article also said that there was infinite amount of porn available anyway on the internet hosted on servers outside the purview of the indian rule.

What amused me to the core was this article from the TOI (anybody's guess)

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/NEWS-Sunday-TOI-View-From-Venus-Savita-Bhabhi-is-dead-Long-live-Indian-hypocrisy/articleshow/4794372.cms

The article laments the hypocrisy so intertwined in the Indian bureaucracy that they cannot break free from it even if they so willed. All till here is fine. The fun part starts when the article quotes some sociologist from Delhi which I shall quote here verbatim

“To me, Savita Bhabhi was as if India, in spite of its coyness, had come of age" (Yawn-1)

And I thought women like Kiran Mazumdar Shaw, Aishwariya Rai and of course Mayawati would represent the Indian women if at any point in time India did in fact come of age. It seems that the country could have come of age a lot sooner if the creator of Savita Bhabhi, a certain someone, would have realized his tryst with destiny sooner. Alas !, the hero of our society and the channel to do so could'nt wake up earlier. The article also goes ahead and epitomizes the hypocricy in indian society by saying that we have khajoraho (Yawn-2) and thats why we should allow whatever we should allow. Thank God or the sculptors of Khajuraho, elsewise what examples would these socialites, I am sorry, sociologists and progressives cite.

Everybody needs to prove their point by some mean or the other. The ones taking the decisions got to indulge yet again in their self-righteousness by banning the loving (literally) bhabhi and the sociologists gotta prove theirs through remarks and examples as stark as the

sexcapades of the Bhabhi herself. No one seems to notice that not every band is floyd and not every woman living the ravenous, hypothetical, kick-those-MCPs-in-the-balls life is gonna emancipate the society in general and women in particular. Lets let the Bhabhi live for all the people who draw inspiration, gratification or whatever they want, and if she can not let her die.

Lets not make a martyr.

Tikait and Chaube

2009-07-15T20:14:00.001-07:00

Today (Actually Y'day) two of my better friends left Bangalore for good. (I sure hope so!). A better friend is a one of the classifications I usually tend to classify things in. I have friends whom I won't mind saying a hello if I have to. ( I would try to avoid none-the-less). I have good friends whom I won't mind saying a hello. ( I would not try to avoid but neither would I make an effort). I have better friends whom I might give a call to say a hello on certain occasions and certainly would reply if they call. (Here again I would not try to avoid)

I don't believe in the Best friend Concept.

I along with Mama English don't believe in the desi concept of "Wo mera sabse best friend hai"

It was a regular party we had. Although I was a little irritated by the fellow "Party Animals" regularly leaving the table and going out for a smoke ( I can't smoke due to underlying health problems). Our fun was aggrandized by a certain person of a certain geographical location whom we call by a certain name, sitting in a certain position wearing certain clothes. But the idea behind the whole thing was that it was our last party together so we better have fun by whatever means we could. And we did. Some of us did try to establist contact with the certain person but as far as my knowledge or concern goes none could. The evening was followed with high voltage drama (aka Rona Dhona) by two of the animals which we all are mentally prepared for anyway. I usually don't involve in all this as generally I am too drunk to notice even 3 stitches on my upper lip. The regualr emotional jargon can not stimulate more than the doctor's needle piercing through my soft upper lip unless it comes from someone of the likes of Katrina Kaif.

But the Animals ain't no Katrina, so I ain't no stimulated !

The two finally left on the wednesday morning and Afternoon respectively and I wish them all the luck in their future.

Happy Birthday to you

2009-07-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday, like so many (hold on ! all ) others. I was congratulated by my roommate (only) as he is the person who lives with me and it would be rather weird if even he doesn't. Although he did confuse it with yesterday like one of my other acquaintances but to give both of us a little leeway I joked it off and so did he. I don't know where did my social skills take a bite because as far as I can remember I started with a lot of friends (here it means people who wish you on your birthday) but slowly they kept decreasing. And at 25 I have one person.

To wish one on one's birthday should be one of the primary reasons one should go for a roommate. (How many ones did I just write???) I am just happy that my parents and sister did'nt forget because then it would have left the weird zone and entered the rather unfortunate zone. But as far as parents and sisters/brothers are concerned their wishing actually doesn't count while calculating the social success you may think you have achieved. I classify social success into various distinct categories and its highly different from the one which would apply to a westerner given our highly conservative upbringing. And as here the primary key is birthday wishes I shall stick to it as the global parameter.

If you receive less than N+4 wishes (N is the number of roommates) you fall into category 3)

If you receive greater than or equal to N+4 but less than N+8 you fall into category 2

Anything more than that you are category 1 for sure.....

The categories are self explanatory. Category 3 means that you are ...well nothing to anyone else

Category 2 means that you know a couple of other category 2s

Category 1 means you are my role model.

In fact one of the popular reasons for people in the US/Europe cite to turn into Serial Killers/College Shooters/Rapists is that when they were young they did'nt have a birthday party or thier friends/family ran away on them or something.
I think I deserve to at least eve-tease if not rape considering I fall miserably in category 3. But the basic question still to be answered is what effect should it have upon my psyche. What the actual effect has been and why is an entirely different issue altogether. It should have bothered me that I don't even have one friend who would wish me compared to my roommate who actually spent 4 hrs on the phone just a few weeks back on and off. But i guess I have my expectations from life so low that that one call I later received from ICICI bank actually did lift my spirits!! This concept of having very low expectations has been derived over years of practice and has now been mastered by me and my friends ( I still call them friends) and now any upheaval smaller than AIDS would hardly make a difference. AIDS will make a difference because then I wouldn't get married and I don't want to die a ....., you know what :)
I want to write more but I am getting a call.... I might inch towards category 2 !!!!

Anything you may like

2009-05-20T06:47:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of things that have been going around in my head for the past few days. Well since May 17th actually, the day when Congress came back to power with a thumping victory in the polls over the "Communal force" BJP. It is both a moment of relief and disappointment for me. Relief as there is no left to dictate its terms and no Dalit Ki Beti to lay claims to the post of PM just because she is a dalit ki beti. Disappointment as this election yet again proves the hangovers in Indian mindset that have been there for as long as history has been written. Since ages Indians have been ruled by one dynasty or another. Be it the Mauryas, the Mughals or the British. More than 20 centuries of dynasty rule has taken away whatever respect we could have had for ourselves. We have it ingrained in ourselves that there is someone who is born and destined to rule us better than we can. The earlier kings could do it, the British could do it better and now the Gandhis can do it better. Agreed that in those days the commons could'nt do much as they would have been quashed by force. But now when the power to vote in a democracy has been given to us we still choose to vote for the destined lot.
Even the most forward nation with the most ethnic and religious diversity has one clause in its constitution. "A natural born citizen can only be the President of the United States of America"
And that is a country which has a total history as old as any other temple in our country. But we , a country older and more continuous than history itself genuflect in front of a lady who did'nt even take the citizenship for a good 15 years after marrying Rajiv Gandhi. I am not questioning Sonia Gandhi or her intentions back then. What I am trying to say is that we should welcome all with open arms but there is a limit to which this welcome should be extended.
As far as the communal tag is concerned with BJP why should'nt Congress be called communal?
The oxford dictionary defines communal as "between different communities". What did Arjun Singh do if not pit the higher castes against the backward castes ? And what about "Indian Union Muslim League" that sits in the UPA? A party that has its very origin/existence in the name of a religion is not communal but a party that says that the roots of this country, not the majority religion, be respected is communal ? Ram they say is fictitious. I say who are they to tell me to question my belief. What proof is there for Mohammad or Jesus Christ to exist? The holy books and writings that go back in history. Why then should I accept the Ramayana as mythology and not history ? Just because the western philosohers can't verify it they deny it. And just because they deny it we can't accept it. The single biggest blot on the nationalistic party is Godhra which should be accepted and condemned. Why dosen't Congress come out in the open and accept 1984 Sikh killings.
Its just that this communal card is now so stale that I just switch the channel whenever the likes of Lalu, Mulayam and Mayawati repeat the god damned rhetoric over and over again. The people of India gave the BJP one chance and expected miracles in 5 years. It was like " these people create too much nuisance. Lets give them one chance. What ? after five years we are just respected the world over for being a nuclear power and Included in the G20? No No thats not enough. Lets all go back and bow to the Gods and Goddesses, Kings and Queens once again, Maybe till eternity.
Maybe thats the reason that even the cricket teams in the IPL are all royals, Knights and Kings as the fantasy dosen't seem to break.

Slumdog Millionaire....

2009-02-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

The movie is good. No doubt. The scene where the youngest Jamaal jumps into shit holding the god's picture is both beautiful and disgusting at the same time. To some extent the magic tale seems believable also. I mean don't look at the story as an ordinary boy's extraordinary tale but look at it like an extraordinary tale with ordinary players. The movie begins with easily one of the better Rahman compositions of O ..Saaya with the rapping also extraordinary. The camera work is superb with little slumdogs jumping from atop the roofs into the maze of Dharavi and the police constable desperately chasing them.But with these and a few other moments of brilliance the movie seems a good movie,not a brilliant movie which IMDB rates with an astounding score
of 8.7 at 34 all time great,better than movies like Apocalypse Now or Requeim for a Dream!.

Saurabh Shukla does justice to a regular fat police constable but again the language seems out of place. Maybe because its a little difficult to imagine Desi brownies speaking the gorra language with non chalance. Afterall movies like Blood Diamond and other Africa based movies dont seem awkward as we don't really know how a black native african would look like speaking his own language and how different it will be to speaking English.But the moment you see,no no hear Dev Patel and the thick British accent he speaks with, it starts to move from the uncomfortable to the dislike zone. When you make a movie of this repute ,you should take care of these finer details. Jamaal speaks English, I swollow that but where does the accent come from ???? Irrfan Khan had no scope in his role so I wont talk about him. Anil Kapoor playing the host of the game show came across as a dark conceited person which was exactly what he was supposed to. But at places he overdid his bit like the scene where Jamaal walks into the show and Prem mocks him for being a chai wala.
The explanations for knowing the answers seem a little laughable and it seemed as if the scenes of riots, children forced to beg, and prostitution had to be included for the sake of an audience which wants to see this and will appreciate the movie only if you feed them what their stereotypes want them to see. Some have compared the movie to Cidade de Deus (City of Gods) which talks about the slums of Rio De Janerio but the comparison would be an insult to City of Gods. Why,you can understand only if you have seen City of Gods.
The movie should not be dumped as it has been by people like Priydarshan and the others for the director Danny Boyle did seem to make a genuine effort. He could not be successful is a different issue. None the less he gave us a decent movie and the world the music of Rahman at an unprecedented level.

Mozart Chocolates.....

2009-01-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

I like watching theater. This is a hobby I acquired around 16 months back when I first came to Bangalore and started watching plays regularly at a well known City theater. In the past 16 months I have seen around 12-15 plays and now I can differentiate the two ends of the spectrum, a very good one from a very bad one. In between lies a complete panorama of theater on which I don't lay any claim of minutely appreciating.
Adding to the list of the middle spectrum I saw a play "Mozart Chocolates" recently which on certain aspects was on the one end and and in some aspects on the other end. There is also a small faux pas which happened while waiting for the play to start which I would like to mention for memory's sake.
I reached the theater a good half hour early and was seated at the first row from where I could even count the facial hair of the actors. This lady (in her sixties probably) politely asks me adjust a little ( scooch is the word for the urban junta) and sits just next to me. She had a heavy bengali accent and was talking to her acquaintances in bengali, one of whom was a Prahlad Kakkar Lookalike. I was muttering to the friend of mine with whom I had gone for the play wether it was a wise decision to watch this play while we could have done something more productive like talk and stuff. "Yaar, this looks like a very heavy play (in English) ". My friend replied something which before I could comprehend the lady asked me " What do you mean by a heavy play ?"
Slightly puzzled by the question I started thinking of a politically correct answer which should not offend her for she looked like a connosieur and was really looking forward to it , I supposed.
"Not Comical Ma'am"
"Well it has lighter moments"
"How would you know that Ma'am" ?
"Well I am the playwright"!
Some rattling followes.....
To show to her that I am not some first timer at a work of art ( I dont make any claims to otherwise) I start rambling on all the arsenal I had on Bengali movies and Literature.
" Well I follow a lot of Bengali movies and literature"
"Which is your favorite ?"
" The Apur Trilogy Ma'am and Charulatha are my favourites "
" I knew Satyajit Ray as a friend, a very charming person indeed. We Bengalis are very proud of him "
No knowing literature stuff anymore ......

The play was very good in bits with the "Lighter Moments" looking natural and humorous. There was a discussion around Post Modern and Post Colonial literature which I didnt really understand and the major part of the play was centered around the lead actress remembering her life's bygone years throgh the saris she bought at various times of her life.
The acting was generally good with a couple of misses here and there but considering the volume of monologues that's not something to take serious note of.
The play was a tad bit too long , I was shifting positions and could hear a lot of other people doing the same.
The lighting and music( minimal) were good and suited the setting of the play.
The one thing I didnt really understand was the audience. Most of the people were in their early twenties and there were some teenagers as well. I won't make any claims of knowing their following of theater but I somehow had this feeling that most of the people were there for the play ,any play for the matter , be it Mozart Chocolates or Alif Laila for that matter.
One teenager actually dozed off on his Mom/Aunt/very elder sister's shoulder during the early part of the play !!!!
I guess the play was for a select audience and I am sure they must have fully enjoyed it. As for me I did enjoy, if not the play my conversation with the playwright.

A more professional review can be read here

Rock On.....

2008-09-12T02:57:00.000-07:00

Kaale neele Peele Hum hain Zehreeley......

After being tortured by Singh is Kingg I thought of watching Rock On with absolutely no expectations and therefore didn't even bother to read the reviews. But thinking about it now I feel that it was a good decision as I watched the movie with a fresh mind and was able to relish every second of it. What struck me the most was the flow of the movie with constant juggling between the past and the present lives of the protagonists. The movie had a good pace and at no point of time would you feel that the scene was being dragged or out of place. The scene where the four are about to sign the contract was depicted exactly how a bunch of wannabees,not sure of what they really want would react.
I would like to mention the performance of Luke Kenny playing the character of Rob Nancy as an eye catcher and an absolute delight. The actor portrays a cancer patient who jokes about loosing all the hair to chemotherapy saying that the fashion of long hair was gone.
but the revelation of the movie is undoubtedly farhan Akhtar who after showing his talent as a prolific director has conquered yet another territory with a brilliant performance. The facial expressions were perfect and you could notice no tinge of overplaying the part.
The music is catchy although not as good as it could have been,maybe due to the theme of the movie which didnt allow scope for regular bollywood music.
the movie comes to a soft ending with the best song being performed by the band which was ironically rejected by the producer when the band was making the album ten years ago.
The performances of Arjun Rampal and Purab Kohli are also to be appreciated.

A story

2008-06-06T01:18:00.000-07:00

It was a humid afternoon. The unreserved class compartment of the lucknow bareilly passenger was full of sweating people.If you have traveled in the unreserved compartment it wouldn't be difficult to imagine and if you havent it wouldn't be possible to.I was going from lucknow to meet my sister who lives in bareilly and could'nt get a reservation so ended up with this old man who caughed every 5 seconds sitting next to me. In front of me was this middle aged lady who was transferring her vegetables from one village to another.She was very grumpy about something and it was'nt difficult to guess that it had something to do with her abject destitution and the difficulties that come along.She was chewing beetle and periodically spitting outside the window which due to the wind would come back inside the train.
So with all the spit and the cough around, the stage was perfect for some reflection on the current social condition of the country and how the government was so corrupt and inefficient and how we are paralyzed and could do nothing.India is a land of over 110 crore people and around 5 crore graduates. We sure don't have so many jobs so what most of the "educated" crowd does is reflection. Its not difficult to find a couple of them standing in some arbit corner of the street and discussing at the top of their voices how the government is so hypocritical that on one hand they talk about equality on the other the reservation is at 50%. Anyway attaching no political connotation to this piece of crap I would go on with the story. So I start reflecting and it strikes me that the best way to do is to think of one of the most intricate and difficult of topics and then derive at a conclusion in less than half an hour.i mean screw all those planning commission a**holes who spend years trying to find something,I can do it in a half hour. So I have to pick a topic and what's more conspicuous in india than poverty and the various degrees to which it is exercised.
All of you would have been moved by the scene in "Swades" where Shahrukh sees this small boy selling water for 25 paise and cries without tears. Kudos to Shahrukh.Even the best of Shahrukh critics would have uttered a word or two of praise.But the fact of the matter is that if you are not some NRI trying to search for your roots in some languished town of Mirzapur the sight is so so common (and worse than the undernourished kid) that after a certain time you hardly seem to notice,let alone being moved by it. But with sweat and spit and cough all around you do notice. You feel disgusted at all the creatures whom you deem not even fit enough to live.
So i make a couple of comments trying to hide my loath as much as I can. The old man was too weak and maybe too much diseased to do anything and the woman was too much of a hag to bother. With some minor adjustments and a little movement my sinews got some strength and I could feel my legs again.I just tried to look around to find something to soothe my eyes,maybe a tree or a field of green but all there was was this barren station with the tattered room they used for calling other stations. Suddenly my eyes caught hold of a girl sitting in the sun with her dupatta around her face. she looked young no older than 20 maybe. she was not beautiful, just a plain village girl,but there was somthing which caught my attention. Maybe just the plain simple emotionless look in her plain simple emotionless eyes. She was doing nothing,just sitting there with her small bag which looked as shabby as the dress she was wearing or her hair.
We notice people everyday or i should say we look at hundred's of faces. Each one of them would have some or the other emotion which strikes you. But the simple blankness of her face was more striking than the most emotional Shahrukh flick you would have seen. maybe I was so desperate to find some relief from my condition that I tried to find poetry anywhere or maybe it was the heat,whatever it was I experienced this urge to keep on staring her. Anyway what's the harm in that. But I half expected her to turn my way so that I could have a better look at her and then secretly chide her for being so poor and miserable unhappy. I have this habit of denouncing anything good by trying to find some or the other fault in it. This just gives me the pleasure of knowing that the thing is not worth having.
Like they show in the cheap 80's movies of Jitendra and Vinod Mehra where the protagonist sees this poor girl who is so pretty (generally played by Hema Malini or Rekha) that she can take away any straight man's breadth. And then she somehow would be attacked by goondas who will try to attack her for obvious reasons and then the protagonist will come to her rescue and the rest is mundane. I used to enjoy such movies as a kid more so for the swear words than the suggestive love scenes where nothing happens but the heroine is pregnant after some time.
Anyway I had this flash of imagination where I think of the plain girl to look at me and give me some signal where I would get up from my seat and leap towards her and grab her in my arms.
A below average looking fat guy with no future can actually not think of any more flamboyant love story, howsoever plain and rustic the girl maybe, the story seemed all right and I actually was thinking of the opening line which I can say and more importantly she can understand.
I dont know how much time went by ,maybe a couple of more minutes and the anticipation was at its height when the girl did actually look towards my direction more so because the teastall was in the same direction i think. Well thats it, I thought ,I need to get up and make a martyr of myself in the battleground of love. Just as I was going through all this the train gave a siren and the mad crowd which had got out of the compartment to get some air starting rushing back to the compartment. Thats it!!!! Its now or never. But as soon as I tried to get up the fear of loosing the seat and not getting the next train stuck me. I Had just enough money to eat some cheap puri bhaji and if I go over there and do the act how will I reach my destination? The fear of losing a seat in the general compartment is something you cant even comprehend. So at the end of it it was never. I reached my sister's place and forgot about the incidence just until few days later when I was returning on the same route and saw the same girl sitting in the same place.
The person next to me noticed me staring at her and said,
"200 rs sir, bolo chahiye ?"
All I could utter was a feeble no.

A stroll at the RTO

2008-06-06T01:17:00.000-07:00

It is May in Bangalore. They say it used to be pleasant in May. I am not they and I dont find it pleasant. Anyway I have this friend of mine who got into some college and wanted to leave bangalore. Good for him.( that's the best I can wish him, I am still stuck here !) Trust me on this one.When people say they are happy for you or something,They are lying. The best they can come up with is they dont feel bad you are achieving something which they can't(this also is a remote possibility).So this friend of mine is leaving bangalore and has this bike which I thought I can use for a year or so before passing it on to someone until it completely dies.

So we think what all is needed. I need to pay him (a minor detail which somehow he didnt forget though) . Then out of nowhere he mentioned that if I get killed while driving his bike he might get into trouble. I mean he would be sad for me and all but getting in trouble with police!!!! Its actually
worse than dying . So if I die I would be saving my ass. So the fact of the matter is that I should die peacefully and he should'nt be bothered and therefore I should get the bike in my name.
Well I said "I dont have much work at office( it actually means I have no work because when people have some work they behave as if they have been working like a donkey and the entire company is resting on their shoulders) I can spare a couple of hours to go to the RTO and get the legalities performed."
So my friend and I went on a pilgrimage to the RTO Bangalore (East) with all the hope in the world.
Our faces were glowing with anticipation bettered only by a virgin married to a hot chic on his first night.So we took this arduous journey to reach the office which was'nt really arduous and we reached quite happily. We went to the "May I help you" and got the three easy steps to get vehicle transferrd.
1.Fill the form
2.Wait in the queue
3.Get the vehicle transferred

This isn't so bad! If only I knew!!!!
We reached the counter after filling in all our details on all the forms around 1.10 pm well within the range of time. The cash counter where we had to pay the nominal fee of 35 rupees was to be open till 2.30 and other counters well beyong that. We had a decent queue in front of us but noway it could have lasted till 2.30. As soon as the queue moved (every 10 mins or so) I could feel the fresh air of victory blowing through my hair when just before my turn the person just got up and went. (I got a little tensed but my friend reassured me saying must be a pee break )
We waited for 20 odd minutes wen we were told it was lunch time and we were supposed to come back at 2.30 (the time rings a bell rite!)
But Saar the counter closes at 2.30 .
Saar. No no,come at 2.30
Will you work beyond 2.30
Come at 2.30 and ask.
Now thats a little weird I think.Come back at 2.30 and ask.
But as they say "majboori ka naam mahatma gandhi"we waited.
At 2.30 he came back and due to some providence divine he actually gave me the receipt for 35 rupees. I felt better than that virgin(Dont ask me how do i know that). Now one hurdle over I had to goto the bigger one. As they say last dragon to kill before you get the princess.
I had to get these documents verified and they better be in perfect order. This fellow looked like a sweet one and said nothing.just sweetly put a red mark under the vehicle number on my form.
An innoscent mark so you may think. What it actually means is that this form dosent have any "weight" on it and and it should be "appropriately" dealt with. My form was "appropriately dealt with" aka it was "rejected".Now here I must mention Bhaskar a very jovial and cute fellow who earlier out of sheer philanthropy had offered to help us.We being rich( all IT junta is presumed to be rich.How is beyond me) will obviously reciprocate for this magnanimous gesture.
Now he finally comes to us and asks for the last time ,"what is the problem saar?"
It seems we dont have sufficient proof for permanent residence(logical since we are not permanent residents).
"No problem saar",he said "aapke dene se nahi lete mere dene se lete hain"
"aap aisa kya khaas doge boss" I asked?
At this point my friend knuckled me really hard (remember he gets in trouble if i die)
and I rested in peace for the remainder of the conversation.
We got our papers some two days later and I can safely die in peace now.
Did i mention I was generous with nearly 1000 rs towards bhaskar.
Ahh another triviality anyway.